Masters Fantasy Golf

1. Definitions

In these Terms and Conditions, unless the context otherwise requires:

• "The Competition" means the Masters Fantasy Golf Game 2026, a wholly unofficial, entirely amateur, and moderately chaotic competition overlaid upon the actual Masters Tournament at Augusta National.
• "Participant" means any person who has submitted picks, been voluntarily enrolled by a third party, or was simply told "you're in" at the pub.
• "Picks" means the selection of golfers whose scores you will spend the week nervously refreshing.
• "The Leaderboard" means the definitive, unarguable, occasionally wrong ranking of Participants based on their collective score.
• "Winner" means the Participant whose Picks accumulate the fewest total strokes. This is golf. Low is good. Yes, really.
• "Loser" means the Participant whose Picks accumulate the most total strokes. This distinction comes with consequences (see Clause 6: The Reckoning).
• "The CUT" means the point at which golfers with insufficient talent for a given week are politely asked to go home.
• "CUT_PENALTY" means the additional strokes applied to any Participant's score for each golfer who fails to make the cut. Currently set at +8 strokes per missed cut. This figure is non-negotiable unless it is, in which case it is negotiable.
• "The Organiser" means Dwaine, whose judgement is final, whose spreadsheet is law, and whose choice of scoring system you agreed to by existing.
• "Acts of God" means rain delays, Rory McIlroy's putting, lightning suspensions, or anything else that causes a participant to say "that's not fair".

2. Eligibility

2.1 Participation is open to all persons who:

• Are known to the Organiser in some capacity;
• Have been assigned picks (whether or not they asked for them);
• Are willing to accept the outcome with grace, good humour, and at least one round of beverages.

2.2 The following are NOT eligible to participate: Augusta National members (you have your own traditions), anyone who has previously refused to buy a round, and robots (unless they're buying the beers).

2.3 The Organiser reserves the right to add Participants at any time for comic effect.

3. Scoring

3.1 Each Participant's score is calculated as the sum of the cumulative scores-to-par of their selected golfers upon conclusion of the Tournament.

3.2 Missed Cut Penalty: Each golfer who fails to make the cut shall have the CUT_PENALTY value (currently +8 strokes) added to their score on behalf of the unfortunate Participant who selected them. The Organiser reserves the right to increase this penalty at their sole discretion in circumstances where a golfer technically makes the cut but proceeds to play the weekend with the energy of a man who has lost his car keys, his will to live, and his short game simultaneously.

3.3 In the event of a tie, the Organiser will determine the winner through a method of their choosing. Suggested methods include: a play-off hole at the nearest par-3, a staring contest, or simply declaring both parties winners and making them split the loser's obligations.

3.4 Scores displayed on the Leaderboard are fetched in real time from ESPN and are correct to within the tolerances of the ESPN API, which is to say: broadly accurate, occasionally baffling.

4. Picks

4.1 Once the Tournament has commenced, Picks are locked. No substitutions, swaps, or retrospective acts of genius shall be permitted.

4.2 The Organiser acknowledges that "my guy was definitely going to win" is a valid emotional response but not a valid claim against the scoring system.

4.3 Picks submitted after the deadline shall be considered invalid, null, void, and moderately embarrassing.

4.4 No Participant may select a golfer who has already been selected by another Participant, unless the draft system permits it, in which case they may, and will.

5. The Winner

5.1 The Winner shall be the Participant with the lowest total score at the conclusion of the Tournament.

5.2 The Winner is entitled to:

• Bragging rights, to be exercised liberally and without restraint;
• A complimentary dinner at the Winner's Dinner (see Clause 6);
• The moral authority to recommend golfers to other Participants next year, which those Participants are free to ignore;
• A celebratory beverage, sourced at the expense of the bottom-placed Participant (see Clause 6.3).

5.3 The Winner may not use their victory to retroactively claim they "always knew" their picks were good. This will be fact-checked against pre-tournament WhatsApp messages.

6. The Reckoning (Prizes, Penalties & Punishments)

6.1 Winner's Dinner: The Winner's Dinner shall be held on Sunday, 3rd May, the date coinciding with the close of the Masters season and the collective unwinding of pent-up golfing emotions.

6.2 Payment for the Winner's Dinner: The cost of the Winner's dinner shall be borne equally by the two Losers (i.e., the bottom two Participants on the final Leaderboard). This is not a suggestion. This is doctrine.

6.3 Round of Beers: The bottom-placed Participant (the Loser, singular, the one with the highest score) shall additionally be required to purchase a round of drinks for all Participants. The composition of said round shall be at the Loser's discretion, subject to everyone's order being reasonable. A round does not include premium spirits, cocktails with umbrellas, or anything described as "artisanal" on a chalkboard.

6.4 Exemptions from Clauses 6.2 and 6.3: There are none. Absolutely zero. The Organiser has considered this at length.

6.5 The Mitchell Clause: Notwithstanding any provision in these Terms, and in acknowledgement of the well-documented pattern of Mitchell being unavailable, indisposed, "nearly ready", or otherwise in possession of a fresh excuse at the precise moment social plans crystallise, Mitchell is hereby formally placed on notice that: (a) attendance at the Winner's Dinner is mandatory, non-negotiable, and not subject to his customary repertoire of last-minute withdrawals; (b) he is not, has never been, and shall not in future be, exempt from buying a round of beers; and (c) the phrases "I'll be there in 20 minutes", "something came up", "I'm not feeling great", and "next time for sure" have been pre-emptively noted, assessed, and rejected. The Organiser has heard the excuses. The Organiser has catalogued them. The Organiser is not moved. Mitchell turns up. Mitchell buys the beers.

6.6 Gracious acceptance of defeat: All Participants agree to lose with dignity, to pay their obligations without excessive protest, and to use the occasion as an opportunity to learn from their obviously flawed approach to picking golfers.

7. Disputes & Governance

7.1 The Organiser's decision is final in all matters, including but not limited to: scoring disputes, interpretation of these Terms, acceptable dinner choices, and whether a penalty increase was warranted.

7.2 Appeals may be submitted to the Organiser in writing (WhatsApp counts), whereupon they shall be considered briefly before being dismissed.

7.3 The Competition operates in a spirit of good-natured rivalry. Any Participant who approaches this with the demeanour of a solicitor's letter will be asked to recalibrate their energy significantly.

7.4 These Terms shall be governed by the laws of common decency, mateship, and the general understanding that it's just a bit of fun. Any attempt to invoke actual legal jurisdiction will result in the invoking Participant being referred to henceforth as "the one who tried to lawyer the fantasy golf".

8. Privacy & Data

8.1 Participant names and scores will be displayed publicly on the Leaderboard. By participating, you consent to this, even when your score is horrifying.

8.2 No personal data beyond your name and your picks is collected or stored, unless your picks themselves constitute embarrassing personal data, in which case that's on you.

8.3 Screenshots of the Leaderboard may be shared in group chats for purposes of celebration, commiseration, or light mockery. This is, in fact, the whole point.

9. Limitation of Liability

9.1 The Organiser accepts no liability for: poor golfer performances, unexpected withdrawals, rain delays, Acts of God, or the inexplicable tendency of your best pick to shoot a 78 on the Sunday.

9.2 The Organiser further accepts no liability for: emotional distress caused by the Leaderboard, damaged friendships resulting from competitive tension, or the existential dread of watching your final pick miss a three-foot putt on the 18th.

9.3 Participation is undertaken entirely at the Participant's own risk, emotional, financial (within reason), and reputational.

10. Amendments

10.1 The Organiser reserves the right to amend these Terms at any time, including retroactively, if the situation is funny enough to warrant it.

10.2 Participants will be notified of material changes via the group chat. "I didn't see the message" is not a valid defence.

10.3 The CUT_PENALTY may be adjusted upward by the Organiser at their discretion in cases of truly spectacular underperformance by a golfer who made the cut but apparently wished they hadn't.

11. Miscellaneous

11.1 These Terms constitute the entire agreement between the Participants and the Organiser with respect to the Competition, superseding all prior WhatsApp messages, verbal agreements at the bar, and statements made during the draft that began with "obviously I'll get...".

11.2 If any provision of these Terms is found to be unenforceable (by a court of actual law, which would be frankly extraordinary), the remaining provisions shall continue in full force and effect, and the Participant who raised it shall be gently ribbed about it for several years.

11.3 The failure of the Organiser to enforce any provision of these Terms at any time shall not constitute a waiver of such provision, especially regarding the round of drinks, which will be remembered.

11.4 These Terms are written in the spirit of fun, camaraderie, and the entirely reasonable belief that friendly competition is one of life's great joys — provided someone buys the first round.